”It’s not a question if i mean it or not!”

It's not a question if i mean it or not, i always ment it and i still have the will but it's so hard quiting absolutely everything at the same time, the major drug problem is the amphetamines as usual and i feel so tired and weak without it, actually i feel totally boored without it and if i should be really honest with you. I cant feel pleasure! I feel that i have to have it in my system 24/7 to ceep me going. I love the high but "hate" the down that comes with it. When it comes to the family they have left me 2 months ago. Im worth nothing for them when im on it. They dont even bother answering my textmesseges ive sent them. I feel totally abandon by them and it hurts so bad!. Cant do anything about it really. Its like everythings my fault really in their point of view. "Well maybe that's true in their point of view but maybe i have a little different opinion about it all. I Im trying and will ceep doing that until Im of it, but it takes time. That's all i have to say about it.

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